What Does An Extraordinary Marriage Look Like For You?

January 29, 2019

What Does An Extraordinary Marriage Look Like For You?

At the start of every new year, you hear and see a huge push for new goals for that New Year.  It is inevitable.  The questions come at you from every angle.  What are your goals for this year?  What are you going to change?  What are you going to work towards?  You see people sharing their new weight goals, exercise goals, business goals, educational goals, and the list really can go on.    The gym even bleeds with all the people readily starting their new workout lifestyle goal on January 2nd.  I know, because I am a pretty regular gym attender all year around and can barely get on a machine come January 2nd.  I am not bitter, I promise!  

What I rarely hear as a goal for each new year is the goal to better a marriage.  I wonder if people just don’t think about it?  Or if they think their marriage is just fine?  Or if we’ve never been taught how important it is?  But what if we made it a goal to build extraordinary marriages?  Let me assure you that you don’t have to be struggling in your relationship to want an extraordinary marriage.  You should always be bettering and growing in your relationship with your spouse.  Always! 

I heard someone ask “What would an Extraordinary Marriage look like to you!?”  My mind began to race of all the things an extraordinary marriage would look like for Jake & I.  Truthfully, I’d never really thought about it until the question was asked.  Jake and I have a pretty good marriage, but not without some very trying first years.  No one gives you manuals for this stuff.  The question, “What would an extraordinary marriage look like to you” got me thinking on how I’d better things if I could.  Then I realized why can’t we?  Why can’t we grow towards better communication and understanding of each other?  Why can’t we grow in emotional intimacy?  Why can’t we learn to value each other’s individuality and gifting’s at a deeper level?  The Bible tells us that people perish for the lack of a vision.  Trust me I am not getting all biblical on you, but I do think there is a powerful truth here.  You cannot move forward or change things for the better or even grow without a plan.  To lose weight you have to have a plan.  To grow a business you have to have a plan.  To move toward self-growth still a plan.  You get my point.  To have a successful or extraordinary marriage you have to have a plan and set goals together.

So, how do you do this?

This may sound super elementary, but you have to individually ask yourselves what an extraordinary marriage might look like to you.  Think about it, dream about it, and envision it.  Then write down what comes to your mind.  Then meet up with your spouse and share with each other what an extraordinary marriage might look like to both of you.  Share with each other without getting defensive.  You probably won’t have the same answers, but you can agree to work together toward a few of the things each year.

One very important thing to remember is to not compare your relationship or marriage to someone else’s.  I cannot tell you how often people have compared their marriage relationship with ours.  You will always come up short when you do this and you will be very frustrated.  Do the work and decide together what an extraordinary marriage will look like for the two of you.  There may be things you love about another relationship write it down and talk about it.  But never expect your spouse to fulfill or be something you haven’t agreed together for your marriage.  That is why I am not putting what an extraordinary marriage is for Jake and I.  It is freedom and fun when you can decide what an extraordinary marriage looks like for you and I encourage you to have the goal to grow every year toward something extraordinary.  You only get one life to live, so live it to the very fullest. 

If you aren’t married yet, we encourage you and your fiance to begin talking about what an extraordinary marriage will look like for the two of you and then commit to picking something to work toward every year.  You will be far ahead of those who are already married and just thinking about this.  

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